So yesterday I get a voicemail from her nurse (who was always a bitch to me, probably because the whole office thought I was a nut job) asking for me to call them. She continued to say that they had not received any medical records from my visit to the Mayo Clinic. Dr. Facade has been reading more into the condition "you think you have" and the porphorins (and she didn't know this word and tried to pronounce it at least 3 times before giving up). So If I could please call their office so they can contact Mayo and get my records.
I am preparing a letter to send to Dr. Facade. It will go something like this:
Dear Dr. Facade,
I appreciate your concern in my health care now that almost 5 months have passed since I last contacted you. As you know, I did visit the Mayo Clinic after almost 6 months under your care. In that time, you were only able to send me on a wild goose chase to Atlanta specialists, therefore jacking up my medical bills but leaving me with no answers.
As you have never referred a patient to Mayo before, I'm sure you are unaware of their medical records policy. This policy clearly states that new patients must bring hard copies of all medical records pertaining to their condition. In accordance with this policy, I obtained my records from your office. I bet you didn't expect me to read months of your patronizing notes...but I did.
I know how excited you were at the thought of having a Porphyria patient under your care and your disappointment when your test came back negative. I'm sure by now, with all the "research" your nurse referred to, you have learned that you did this test incorrectly. I'm happy to report that I do have porphyria and am working to determine my exact type. Unfortunately for you, you're fired. You no longer are privy to my medical records and do not have permission to write to any medical journals regarding my case.
Once again, thank you for your recent interest in my health, but it's too little, too late. Good luck with your practice.
Your only hope at treating a Porph