Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Ride of a Lifetime

I've been noticing my medical ID bracelet a lot lately. It's become part of me, something that's always with me like my freckles, or my new oil burn scar from cooking (that looks just like a leaf)...or my iPhone! But the jingle jangle of it has been louder as it tangles with my watch. The other day I even considered taking it off and putting it away in my jewelry case, after all, it was taking away from the look of my new gold cuff. But my rational brain quickly told me to leave it on - or maybe it was a bit irrational because the silent conversation in my head went more like this:

me: "I love my new gold cuff. It's awesome."
me: "Yea, but the medical ID doesn't look good next to it."
me: "Try wearing the cuff on the other arm." (take off cuff from left wrist and put on right)
me: "Bracelets on each wrist...looks like I'm in handcuffs."
me: "OK, it was better on the other side." (take cuff off right, put back on left wrist)
me: "Hmm, better. But it why not take off the ID?"
me: "Yea, that would look best."
me: "With my luck, if I took it off, I would need it that same day."
me: "True. OK, enough thinking about the bracelet, what am I going to wear?"...

...point being, maybe it's not so rational to have inner conversations such as those. But I do.

Last we talked I was preaching about hormones and Thyroid. It's definitely helped me, but I would say that I'm still only 80% my normal self (on a good day). I've been dealing a lot with hot flashes and night sweats. Anyone else have these? I thought it was hormone related, so I went to my OB/GYN to have my women hormones evaluated...and it's all normal. "Beautiful" was actually how she described my lab results. Good results because there were talks and fears that I might be going into premature menopause...but again no real answers. I was left with that one unanswered question: "Could it be due to Porphyria?"

With my doctor telling me the truth and admitting she didn't know and that anything could be related to the Porphyria, I was left with my only outlet... ask you.

I think many of us look at the situations we have been faced with as "riding a roller coaster". But lately I've been thinking, maybe it's more of a train ride. Some legs of the trip are winding and bumpy and others are smooth and peaceful. Occasionally we are able to stop and rest, reflect on where we've been and where we are going next. We should all enjoy the journey, even the challenging times, because it's the ride of a lifetime.

Told you it looked like a leaf. Hurt like hell, but I kinda dig it!